I am sure I am not alone in being annoyed by the "Proud Parent" bumper stickers. I'm proud of my kids too, but I don't need to advertise it on my car. Get a blog for Pete's sake! :)
But worse is how the threshold of pride keeps dropping. It used to be "Proud Parent of an Honor Student at Lincoln High". Now it's things like "My Kid is a Good Citizen at Lincoln High".
This is the same sort of self-esteem garbage we see constantly from the misguided school system. You can't say someone is "better" because it will hurt the feelings of others. So, there are no "winners" only "participants".
But where does this end? Let's fast forward through a few years of political correctness...
My Kid is a Good Citizen at Lincoln High -- implies a value in citizenry, which implies loyalty to some contrived system
My Kid is a Human Being at Lincoln High -- what about non-humans? Animals? Aliens? Non-humans are people too!
My Kid is an Person at Lincoln High -- better, but still might offend some aliens
My Kid is an Entity at Lincoln High -- yeah...except for the "kid" part, that is still too human
My Offspring is an Entity at Lincoln High -- but that could be offensive to the infertile
The Organic Organism in My Care is an Entity at Lincoln High -- Could be offensive to robots and cyborgs
An Object in My Care is an Entity at Lincoln High -- not bad
Really fills you with pride, doesn't it.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Is There a Doctor in the House?
This is what happens when a child uses headphones before he uses a stethoscope.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Pickles and Hemlock
We buried my grandmother last weekend. She was a resilient woman of 92 years who had a long, rich life, fought through much adversity, and bounced back from several incidents in her later years that would have meant the end of most.
I remember her for a lot of things: special treats she baked on an old wood-burning stove, playing in the mazes we built in the huge patch of lilacs in her yard, and many other things. But the things I remember most are two incidents that just make me laugh.
One time, we were all sitting around in her kitchen discussing politics and the troubles of the world -- well, complaining really since I don't recall any real solutions being offered. My grandmother was quietly working around the kitchen until she finally chimed in with her take on what was wrong with the world..."And the price of pickles...!" If she finished the sentence, I didn't hear it over the sound I was making rolling on the floor laughing.
On another occasion, we were talking about someone choking. I don't recall why that was the topic, who else was there, or what they had to say. The only thing I remember is my grandmother's advice: If someone is choking, give them the "Hemlock maneuver". Results may vary.
Farewell grandma. Rest in the arms of your savior.
I remember her for a lot of things: special treats she baked on an old wood-burning stove, playing in the mazes we built in the huge patch of lilacs in her yard, and many other things. But the things I remember most are two incidents that just make me laugh.
One time, we were all sitting around in her kitchen discussing politics and the troubles of the world -- well, complaining really since I don't recall any real solutions being offered. My grandmother was quietly working around the kitchen until she finally chimed in with her take on what was wrong with the world..."And the price of pickles...!" If she finished the sentence, I didn't hear it over the sound I was making rolling on the floor laughing.
On another occasion, we were talking about someone choking. I don't recall why that was the topic, who else was there, or what they had to say. The only thing I remember is my grandmother's advice: If someone is choking, give them the "Hemlock maneuver". Results may vary.
Farewell grandma. Rest in the arms of your savior.
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